Sometimes I look at myself
then look at others
See no reason for us
to face the facts
Sometimes stop for a moment
look around us all
Its not them, just us
How one reacts
You see something that changes your mind
You hear the voices in the wind
Were the reason it all stopped
Were the reason it all began
Its hard to see beyond the past
How they felt, loved and laughed
If they did what they saw was right
If they tried to make it last
Sometimes I can see and hear
Voices left behind
Theres no them, just us
What you can do in time
You could say its hard to tell
Sky from seas, death from disease
You could say its hard to tell
Us from them, heaven from hell
keskiviikko 27. helmikuuta 2013
maanantai 11. helmikuuta 2013
Still Rambling On
I stared at the white blank space for good five minutes. I had a few things to write about, but I didnt. They didnt feel quite right. What felt right was just to stare. I was listening to a song about gays and gay rights. I wanted to write about that. The pope quit today, I wanted to write about that. Earlier I sat through a somewhat interesting presentation about business and career, and I wanted to write about that too. Just all these things rushing through my mind but nothing felt worth writing about. So I just stared.
I lifted things and put em down, I had chinese, I had ideas and shut them down. I had a dream about donuts and police officers shooting innocent people. I drove my car around the city to run errands. I read about how some people hate others using the word 'literally' too much and in wrong situations these days. I had a bad hair day, so I wore a hat all day. I asked the presentation guy a question, because no one else didnt seem to dare to do it. I offered an extremely dear friend of mine a ride today. I noticed I hear but I dont listen. I wore a shirt with a picture of a cutsie dog on it, even though some people teased me about it in the past. All of these things I did. Still I just stared.
Then I sat down and lit a candle. I like looking at one. Its calming in some way, its soothing warm light and quiet acceptance of itself burning. The dancing shadows it paints, its distinctive smell...I like it, especially during winter time. Then I remembered a song telling about how we should light a candle inside each other, to make us feel love and feel alive. Open the shack door and light it. Because sometimes our shacks need it.
The presentation guy was handsome, well dressed, charismatic and all. Some younger women giggled all the way through the whole thing, and you could see their thought bubbles containing R18 things. The weird thing is that I actually paid more attention more to how he used body language; his hands, facial emotions and posture, more than the actual message itself. He used his hands to support his speech and, if you looked close enough, you could tell how he actually felt about the subject he was talking about just by his body language, regardless of what he said saying about it. And that applies to anyone. For some its easier, for some its harder. But you can tell.
Oh, and on the pope thing. If he was chosen, and he chose to step down, was the right person chosen? Or are popes still human who make choices and choose whats the best thing to do? Or is it just a thing we made up, a shoulder in which some can lean towards? Or is it just human feelings after all...
I lifted things and put em down, I had chinese, I had ideas and shut them down. I had a dream about donuts and police officers shooting innocent people. I drove my car around the city to run errands. I read about how some people hate others using the word 'literally' too much and in wrong situations these days. I had a bad hair day, so I wore a hat all day. I asked the presentation guy a question, because no one else didnt seem to dare to do it. I offered an extremely dear friend of mine a ride today. I noticed I hear but I dont listen. I wore a shirt with a picture of a cutsie dog on it, even though some people teased me about it in the past. All of these things I did. Still I just stared.
Then I sat down and lit a candle. I like looking at one. Its calming in some way, its soothing warm light and quiet acceptance of itself burning. The dancing shadows it paints, its distinctive smell...I like it, especially during winter time. Then I remembered a song telling about how we should light a candle inside each other, to make us feel love and feel alive. Open the shack door and light it. Because sometimes our shacks need it.
The presentation guy was handsome, well dressed, charismatic and all. Some younger women giggled all the way through the whole thing, and you could see their thought bubbles containing R18 things. The weird thing is that I actually paid more attention more to how he used body language; his hands, facial emotions and posture, more than the actual message itself. He used his hands to support his speech and, if you looked close enough, you could tell how he actually felt about the subject he was talking about just by his body language, regardless of what he said saying about it. And that applies to anyone. For some its easier, for some its harder. But you can tell.
Oh, and on the pope thing. If he was chosen, and he chose to step down, was the right person chosen? Or are popes still human who make choices and choose whats the best thing to do? Or is it just a thing we made up, a shoulder in which some can lean towards? Or is it just human feelings after all...
sunnuntai 10. helmikuuta 2013
Rambling On
I dont have anything particular to write about. But I felt like writing something, so here I am sitting and writing something.
Ive had this thought Ive tried to wrap my head around, but havent had much success. And Ive been wanting to write about it, but havent had much success in that either. So Ill just ramble on about randomly picked subjects sailing across the sea that my mind is.
At times you see a person having a walk with a dog or two. And when the dog stops to sniff something or starts barking at a mailbox or whatever, and then the person starts pulling the dog away and you can clearly see that the person is irritated and/or tired of the whole thing. Or you hear a child crying at the candy shelves in a store and the unfortunate parent who had the turn to go to the store loses his/hers patience and snaps at the child. Yells or says something cruel to the kid and then the crying starts. And you just go 'I wouldnt do that, why would you do that? Dont yell at kids, what are you, a sicko?" But then again, when youre sat in that position, after a hard day at work and youre sent off to the store with your kid who desperately wants what anyone wants, good stuff and none of the bad stuff, and when you finally run out of energy to be nice and all, you just want the kid to shut up and sit in the trolley and laugh at stupid things like toilet paper. You will snap at the kid. Maybe not today, maybe not next month. But at some point you will snap. And why does it feel that way to see a child being yelled at? You dont know, you dont have a kid, you havent worked 14 hours a day for 2 weeks, you havent changed diapers that smell like liquid death; you dont know shit. Thats what the parent thinks, thats what the dog owner thinks. And why wouldnt they think that way?
Moving on. Why is it that when we drive on the highway or anywhere if you think about it, we hate absolutely everyone? Someone drives faster than you and passes you, someone drives a more expensive car than you, someone drives slower than you and you have to slow down, someone drives a car that could fall apart any second, someone doesnt use the blinker. Why is it that we judge those people, we categorize those people as complete idiots scum of the earth? We dont know em, we dont know anything about them. But still theyre idiots? Well that makes complete sense doesnt it. If someone doesnt drive the exact way you do, theyre scum. Right.
Some people say its hard to get to know other people. But when you ask them why dont they get to know other people, they say 'people dont like me' or 'I dont know, I just dont like the people around me' or 'I dont know, I just dont'. Do you know how to get to know other people? You talk to them. And how do you talk to people? You walk up and greet them and start a conversation. Some say thats just bullshit, no one could do that, thats unacceptable, no one wants to talk to me. Well, if someone sat down next to you in a bus or at the railway station and just started chatting with you, would you think that they'd be 'unacceptable'? No, you'd probably get into that conversation and enjoy it. And after it you might feel good. What are the odds... Its just about stepping over the line. The line that you drew and hid behind.
Oh, and about the human mind. Have you ever noticed how some (read:most) movies has the orange & blue theme around them. Orange and blue apparently pleases the human eye. Most of the action game posters or whatever have that same thing going on aswell. Orange and blue. All of the Transformers movies and what not use it. When youre aware of it, you cant stop noticing it anywhere. Check out some Hollywood movies, its everywhere. Blue is cool and orange is enthusiastic. And they know it, and they use the crap out of it.
And why is it that we love the ones who ignore us, and ignore the ones who love us?
And why is it that wet hair is darker if water is colorless?
And why is it that it is and why?
Ive had this thought Ive tried to wrap my head around, but havent had much success. And Ive been wanting to write about it, but havent had much success in that either. So Ill just ramble on about randomly picked subjects sailing across the sea that my mind is.
At times you see a person having a walk with a dog or two. And when the dog stops to sniff something or starts barking at a mailbox or whatever, and then the person starts pulling the dog away and you can clearly see that the person is irritated and/or tired of the whole thing. Or you hear a child crying at the candy shelves in a store and the unfortunate parent who had the turn to go to the store loses his/hers patience and snaps at the child. Yells or says something cruel to the kid and then the crying starts. And you just go 'I wouldnt do that, why would you do that? Dont yell at kids, what are you, a sicko?" But then again, when youre sat in that position, after a hard day at work and youre sent off to the store with your kid who desperately wants what anyone wants, good stuff and none of the bad stuff, and when you finally run out of energy to be nice and all, you just want the kid to shut up and sit in the trolley and laugh at stupid things like toilet paper. You will snap at the kid. Maybe not today, maybe not next month. But at some point you will snap. And why does it feel that way to see a child being yelled at? You dont know, you dont have a kid, you havent worked 14 hours a day for 2 weeks, you havent changed diapers that smell like liquid death; you dont know shit. Thats what the parent thinks, thats what the dog owner thinks. And why wouldnt they think that way?
Moving on. Why is it that when we drive on the highway or anywhere if you think about it, we hate absolutely everyone? Someone drives faster than you and passes you, someone drives a more expensive car than you, someone drives slower than you and you have to slow down, someone drives a car that could fall apart any second, someone doesnt use the blinker. Why is it that we judge those people, we categorize those people as complete idiots scum of the earth? We dont know em, we dont know anything about them. But still theyre idiots? Well that makes complete sense doesnt it. If someone doesnt drive the exact way you do, theyre scum. Right.
Some people say its hard to get to know other people. But when you ask them why dont they get to know other people, they say 'people dont like me' or 'I dont know, I just dont like the people around me' or 'I dont know, I just dont'. Do you know how to get to know other people? You talk to them. And how do you talk to people? You walk up and greet them and start a conversation. Some say thats just bullshit, no one could do that, thats unacceptable, no one wants to talk to me. Well, if someone sat down next to you in a bus or at the railway station and just started chatting with you, would you think that they'd be 'unacceptable'? No, you'd probably get into that conversation and enjoy it. And after it you might feel good. What are the odds... Its just about stepping over the line. The line that you drew and hid behind.
Oh, and about the human mind. Have you ever noticed how some (read:most) movies has the orange & blue theme around them. Orange and blue apparently pleases the human eye. Most of the action game posters or whatever have that same thing going on aswell. Orange and blue. All of the Transformers movies and what not use it. When youre aware of it, you cant stop noticing it anywhere. Check out some Hollywood movies, its everywhere. Blue is cool and orange is enthusiastic. And they know it, and they use the crap out of it.
And why is it that we love the ones who ignore us, and ignore the ones who love us?
And why is it that wet hair is darker if water is colorless?
And why is it that it is and why?
torstai 7. helmikuuta 2013
Miles Militis
Tried so hard, tried to mark
Live apart, desperate depart
Simple decision, a thrown dart
Try so hard, rapture of heart
All the black, is really dark
Clean cut and crystal shard
Dumb opinion, dim remark
Number of souls living apart
Echoes of feelings,
of waking dreams
Empty the meanings,
of dead deals
Russian roulette of broken hearts
Sent away to unfaithful land
Flying metal and dying screams
Seeds of anger - we all plant
Stories To Tell
Do you ever get the weird feeling when something ends? Like when youve been on a long journey and finally arrive at your house and stop the car. The radio stops its unending moaning, music stops, speaking fades away and all youre left with is complete silence. The journey ended. You left and you got back. You arrived and you returned. And you get a strange feeling of emptiness?
Whenever I park my car at my house, my car feels its done its job. But I feel like something ended, I feel empty. I had something, a journey, and then it ended. And now Im left with...what? Im back to square one, back to where I left. Like I never did anything. Like I never left. Like I escaped from reality and then came back to the cruel world that is and always will be.
And when youre driving back to your life you realize that your journey will end. You dont want your journey to end, you want it to continue. You liked the journey..you loved it. It was so much fun, it was an exciting experience, it was a thing you'll talk about when you grow old. It was a journey. And when youre getting closer to your normal routines, normal boring repeating days, you get the feeling. Feeling of "I felt alive." And you wonder why you dont feel alive all the time, every day of your life.
Its the thing, getting away, fleeing from reality. Doing something different. For me, its getting away from my house, meeting new people, making a total fool out of myself and telling fun stories about it years later. Doing something out of ordinary. Making a difference. You can never truly succeed at something by copying someone. You can only make a difference by living your own life, and dedicating yourself to something. Dedicating yourself to your journey.
We all walk along. We all see others and envy, copy and mimic others who we think are "better" than ourselves. Are they? Were a weird species; humans. We feel jealous, we dont appreciate our skills, we rarely feel happy about what we are or what weve done. But if you think about it, if we all feel that way theres always someone whos jealous about you and what youve done. Someones always jealous about your smile, your laughter, your muscles, your fashion sense or your eyebrows. But they never let you know. Because you never let them know you find their fingertips extremely attractive, do you? No, because that would be weird. That would be different, that would be unacceptable. Or would it?
And who cares after all? You got your journey, and you meet others who got their journeys. Some journeys cross for some period of time, and you feel whatever you tend to feel. And then feelings fade, and new crossings appear. But you shouldnt let insignificant things affect your journey in a negative way, thats just stupid. Its your journey, not anyone elses.
So whenever you sit down after a trip to Africa or wherever and feel emptiness, think about the stories. You had an experience. You had a new story to add into your diary. And your stories are probably more exciting than those of your friends. Because you left and arrived. And you got a story to tell.
You had a new twist to your journey.
Whenever I park my car at my house, my car feels its done its job. But I feel like something ended, I feel empty. I had something, a journey, and then it ended. And now Im left with...what? Im back to square one, back to where I left. Like I never did anything. Like I never left. Like I escaped from reality and then came back to the cruel world that is and always will be.
And when youre driving back to your life you realize that your journey will end. You dont want your journey to end, you want it to continue. You liked the journey..you loved it. It was so much fun, it was an exciting experience, it was a thing you'll talk about when you grow old. It was a journey. And when youre getting closer to your normal routines, normal boring repeating days, you get the feeling. Feeling of "I felt alive." And you wonder why you dont feel alive all the time, every day of your life.
Its the thing, getting away, fleeing from reality. Doing something different. For me, its getting away from my house, meeting new people, making a total fool out of myself and telling fun stories about it years later. Doing something out of ordinary. Making a difference. You can never truly succeed at something by copying someone. You can only make a difference by living your own life, and dedicating yourself to something. Dedicating yourself to your journey.
We all walk along. We all see others and envy, copy and mimic others who we think are "better" than ourselves. Are they? Were a weird species; humans. We feel jealous, we dont appreciate our skills, we rarely feel happy about what we are or what weve done. But if you think about it, if we all feel that way theres always someone whos jealous about you and what youve done. Someones always jealous about your smile, your laughter, your muscles, your fashion sense or your eyebrows. But they never let you know. Because you never let them know you find their fingertips extremely attractive, do you? No, because that would be weird. That would be different, that would be unacceptable. Or would it?
And who cares after all? You got your journey, and you meet others who got their journeys. Some journeys cross for some period of time, and you feel whatever you tend to feel. And then feelings fade, and new crossings appear. But you shouldnt let insignificant things affect your journey in a negative way, thats just stupid. Its your journey, not anyone elses.
So whenever you sit down after a trip to Africa or wherever and feel emptiness, think about the stories. You had an experience. You had a new story to add into your diary. And your stories are probably more exciting than those of your friends. Because you left and arrived. And you got a story to tell.
You had a new twist to your journey.
maanantai 4. helmikuuta 2013
Insignificance
After all these years Im still growing taller
Signs trying to prepare me for the danger
Or maybe its just the world getting smaller
Nothing you throw at me can hurt me now
I can feel it coming out once again
Like a feeling that finally begins
To influence the deep down waters
I can withstand anything right now
Step one
We wont stop
Step two
My circle of hope
Wont linger
Give back your piece of rope
Growing, slowing down
Meaning, dealing down
Needing, feeling down
Outsides inside, for now
You can sell your detailed drawings
Wont matter to anyone after all
No excuse, no passion or lust
Just doors behind you that shut
Can you feel it coming out once again?
Like a feeling that finally blossoms
To influence the deep down waters
I can withstand anything right now
I can resist you, your insignificance
Step one
We wont stop
Step two
My circle of hope
Wont linger
Give back your piece of rope
Growing, slowing down
Meaning, dealing down
Needing, feeling down
Outsides inside, for now
Step one
We wont stop
Step two
My circle of hope
Wont linger
Give back your piece of rope
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